Miasmatic Review

Back in December of 96 I was driving an old POS Ford Fairmont. It was a used car I bought dirt-cheap. I only had it for like 2 years before it died, I don't even think I have a picture of it to be honest with you. At the end of December it died on my way to work, the engine died and it would cost more to fix it then it was worth. So at that time I bought be a brand spanking new Ford Ranger XLT. I could afford the payments on it. It was a nice little truck, I was single and it did what I needed it to. I'll be honest and say it was the most reliable vehicle I had ever owned. The only time it went into the shop was for some bodywork due to accidents and for maintenance. Not one serious problem. The day I bought her, I got in, turned on the radio and heard the lyrics “Why did you leave me Lucille”. So I named the little red truck, Lucille.

Click to enlarge

Lucille's and my last day together

Almost eight and a half years later. I have a family of four; I do re-enacting and haul a lot of crap around. We were having a hard time managing things with only one vehicle that the entire family could ride in. Even though Lucille was in great condition, sound mechanically, and only had 79,000 miles on her, after 8.5 years it was time for her to go to some other person whom needed her and she was better suited for.

I had gone back to the dealer we bought our van through and they where having a big truck sale. So I was doing the math in my head and I figured I could afford to buy a new truck. Not to go into too many details, the dealerships service department severely pissed me off and I told them so. I also told the car salesman whom sold us the van that I was no longer interested in buying a vehicle from them because of their service department. He asked me to sit down talk to their GM. The GM told me he was willing to work with me on a new vehicle AND look into repairs on the van. He wanted to keep me as a customer.

I was looking at the new trucks and my only criteria were; it had to be a full size truck with an extended cab, four-wheel drive and preferably an 8-foot bed. I was looking at trucks I had dreamt of owning since I was 16. Then I saw her, the most beautiful truck I have ever seen in my life and I knew I had to have her. Like a 16-year-old boy fantasizing about a playboy model, I knew I wanted her. Unfortunately she was a bit out of my price range. True to his word the GM made one hell of an offer. He knocked $12,000 of the sticker price AND he gave me $4,700 for the Ranger. The blue book value was $1,845 trade-in/$2,895 for private seller. So Friday night with an incredibly, unbelievably, phenomenally low interest rate I bought myself a new truck. A Chevy Silverado 2500HD/LS 4X4 with extended cab, an 8-foot bed, the 6.0 Vortec 8100 engine and full towing package. Following the manner in which Lucille was named, I turned on the radio and the first name I heard was a caller to the local radio show named Janine. Now of course my wife thinks that I should call her Charlotte. She says Janine is an ugly fat girl’s name. I say my wife is jealous that I finally got a vehicle that I love and she resents me for it.