Monday, March 28, 2005

Marketing M-pire Strikes Back!

Okay, I thought Darth Vader as a spokesman for Cheez-its was brilliant. Today, however, while at the gas station I see these! That’s right folks. Darth is now selling chocolate, M&M’s to be precise.

They had two different varieties of M&Ms. there was the Jedi Mix and the Darth Mix, The Darth mix having a dark chocolate inside instead of milk chocolate. The best part… the tag tine for the Darth Mix: “M&M’s goes to the Dark (Chocolate) Side.” I can’t remember what the Jedi one was, because I didn’t care… I HAD DARTH VADER SELLING ME CANDY! I was like a kid in a candy shop… or gas station candy isle. I was giddy as all get out. I was showing complete strangers the package trying to convert them. So picture me in a shirt and tie waving a bag of M&M’s around yelling, “Come to the dark side!”

Of course I was kind of disturbed by the yellow M&M dressed up as Darth Vader and holding a light saber. That’s only because the Yellow one is a big bumbling idiot. I think the red one would have been better. He’s a tad meaner, AND Lord Vader’s light saber is red. See the connection?

I wonder what the commercial will be like:

(Opening: the interior of a ship. You see two blast doors. Suddenly there is smoke and sparks and the doors fall away and storm troopers come rushing in. Fire fight ensues, Storm Troopers win)

(Darth Vader comes stepping through)

Vader, “Has anyone found the young Jedi?”

Storm Trooper, “Yes Lord Vader, he turned himself over with out a fight.”

Vader, “Fool! Bring him to me.”

(Storm Trooper makes hand Jester, two other Storm Troopers bring in prisoner in manacles)

Vader, “We don’t need those. I’ll take him from here. Leave us” (Waves hands and manacles fall away, Storm Troopers leave)

Young Jedi, “You have no right to detain me, I am an emissary to the Felzion System. The senate will hear about this!”

Vader, “You’re senate has no power over me. Once you’ve converted to the dark side it won’t matter anyways”

Young Jedi, “I’ll never convert!”

Vader, “Sure you will, but before we get started on your training, would you like some M&Ms?” (Darth holds out bowl of M&Ms)

Young Jedi, “I want nothing from you!” (Turns head, looks back quickly) “Wait! I’ll have some. Who could resist the sweet milk chocolaty taste inside a candy shell that melts in your mouth, not in your hands?”

(Young Jedi takes a handful of M&Ms and pops them in his mouth, all of sudden his skin goes pale and you can see veins popping out all over face and hands)

Darth, “Ah, you’re transformation to the dark side is complete.”

Young Jedi (Wide Eyed), “By only eating a handful of milk chocolate M&M’s?”

Darth, “HAHAHA that is where you are mistaken. They were DARK chocolate!”

Young Jedi, “ NOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo!”

Darth, “No one can resist the power of the Dark Chocolate M&Ms, no one.”

(Fade out to a shoot of a bag of M&Ms on a space back ground)

Tag Line: M&M’s goes to the Dark (Chocolate) Side.