Saturday, March 26, 2005

Your conversion to the Darkside is almost complete!

Okay, I was at the store the other day and saw these:

Darth Vader Cheez-its

Who'd'a thunk that the greatest Movie villain of all time would be the perfect spokesman for a snack cracker? I mean c'mon this is great stuff! You can get your cheesy yummy goodness AND converted to the dark side all at the same time!

I also like how on the box it looks like Darth Vader is using the force to propel the tiny snack crackers at you like some kind of deadly shuriken. This speaks volumes to me, "Eat these crackers or I will kill you!" YES, OH LORD YES! THE ADD EXECS HAVE FINALLY FOUND A SPOKESMAN FOR ME!

I can just see the TV commercial now:

(opening: A Star Destroyer passing through space. Close-in on the bridge. Darth Vader is talking to one of his minions)

Vader: Admiral Vesta, have your obtained the cheez-its yet?

Admiral: I'm sorry lord Vader. The last imperial supply depot we stopped at in the Hoth system was out of them.

Vader: That is unacceptable. Captain Theron, please go to my quarters and get my emergency box of cheez-its.

(Captain goes running as if his life depends on it, and we all know it does)

Admiral: Lord Vader, I'll make sure that we pick some up at the next supply depot.

Vader: It's too late for that Admiral, I've had enough of your incompetence.

(Captain comes running in out of breath, sweaty and carrying a 1 pound box of cheez-its with Darth Vader on it)

Captain: Here you go lord Vader.

Vader: Thank you Captain Theron.

(Vader takes box of cheez-its from captain and turns back towards the Admiral)

Vader: You have failed me for the last time Admiral. (Choking Admiral using the force.)

(Vader turns to Captain)

Vader: Admiral Theron, take us to the nearest imperial supply depot quickly. We must get more cheez-its!

Newly promoted Admiral Theron: AYE, AYE! Lord Vader. (Even more sweat rolling down his face now that the realization that his life expectancy just got shortened to less then 6 months as no Admiral under Darth Vader has lasted that long)

(Fade out to picture of box)
(End commercial)

Ahh, That's my kind of advertising.