The Interrogation of Contagion.

Oddybobo decided she was going to tag me with this interrogation meme that is going around. I keep telling everyone I’m shy, thus I have problems answering them. However she decided that I had avoided this long enough and captured me. I was going to hold off posting this for a month or two in order to see if it would be forgotten. But then that wouldn’t be nice of me, and apparently she really wants to know about me… or realized that everyone else has already done this thing and I was part of the dregs at the bottom of the barrel. So with no further hesitation, here is the interrogation of Contagion:

(Oddybobo wheeling in a portable generator, jumper cables, some sea sponges and a bucket of salt water as Contagion sits wearing only boxer shorts strapped to a chair)

If you had a time machine and could travel backwards in time, when and where would you go and why?

That’s tough; I can only go one place? Eh, this sucks. I’d probably go back to the 1750’s in frontier America. It would be interesting to finally get the answers to some questions I’ve had for a long time that books don’t address. What exactly was the French and British (remember the US didn’t exist at this time) impact on the Midwest at this time, particularly Northern Illinois and Southern Wisconsin. Exactly how many of Le Compartiment Companie De Hudson (Hudson’s Bay Company) was comprised of displaced Scots after the battle of Culloden. As well as what kind of influence these Scots (both with the French and the Brits) had.

(Oddybobo applies wet electrified sponges to Contagions chest. Contagion starts flopping around in the chair)

OKAY! OKAY! I’d really go back to this part of the country in 1750 because they hadn’t found the mineral deposits yet and I know where they all are. I’d be able to secure my rights to them and make a fortune before anyone else found them! Are you happy?!?! Just quit with the shocking already!

Do you ever consider participating in reenactments outside of your tri-state area?

Tri-state? What you trying to imply? I’ve never had intercourse with another man, let alone an animal! What the….

(Lights dim as Contagion is hit with sponges again)

WHAT?!?!? Oh... you mean tri-state like in a region of three states. Ahhh, I see. Well I actually live in a two state region, or bi-state (See original answer Harvey, no smart arse comments) region, just Illinois and Wisconsin. But to answer you question, yes I have and I wouldn’t mind doing more. I used to do the Heritage Festival in Piqua, Ohio and the Davenport, IA Highland games. I wouldn’t mind finding some events in Michigan, Iowa and Indiana to do. But the problem is distance and with two kids, the longer the drive the more problems you have. My youngest hates riding in cars. I did do the Kalamazoo Michigan Living History Show about a week and a half ago and I’m planning on going back next year.

What trait, most like yours, do your children exhibit?

Well that would be my charming personality, good looks and of course my…

(Smell of burning bacon as Contagion is once again hit with the sponges)

Enough already! Okay, my youngest is just like me, in just about every aspect. (My wife should be answering this one; she’d give you a long list) From temperament, to personality, to everything. To narrow one down would be like me asking you to pick your favorite strand of hair. There is a reason I call him Clone. My oldest, he doesn’t have too many of my traits, if any at all. Boopie is more like an anomaly he just kind of exists to push the limits of my temper. I have all kinds of stories I could tell, unfortunately most of them I don’t dare put on the internet in fear of a visit from the government. :)
Describe your ideal Saturday.

That’s not a question, that’s more of a….

(What hair is left on Contagion’s head is now smoking)

WELL IT’S NOT! I guess my ideal Saturday would be the Saturday out at the Trail of History in Ringwood, Illinois. It’s the third weekend in October. I’d wake up in my wall tent to a nice brisk autumn morning. There would be frost on the ground and you could hear the geese. My wife and I would get up and start our day nice and relaxed. The day would warm up as the sun came up over the Kames, however the day would only reach a temperature high of 61. I’d do my demonstrations and play in the battle. Go on a walk-a-bout with the wife looking for the latest “Must have” in re-enacting gear from one of the vendors. For dinner we would have a nice traditional frontier meal. Maybe rabbit stew, Maybe Grau’s Blam, Maybe just buffalo or deer steaks. But it would be campfire made. After dinner we would sit around the campfire with all of our friends and listen to songs being sung or stories being told. Just socializing with people we really only get to see out at these events. Then when all was said and done my wife and I would go to bed and we would proceed to…

(Contagion’s fingernails are starting to turn black)

HEY! Too much info??? All right… I love my boys, but sometimes I just want alone time with my wife. Trail is a no kids weekend for us. If they can’t drive themselves out there, they can’t come. We both love it and even though my wife would like it warmer she does really enjoy it.

If you could be a character from a book who would it be and why?

That’s a tough one. I’ve read too many books to pick just one person. I guess I could try to pick one, but my choice changes based on my mood. Right now I wouldn’t mind being Harry D’amore from Clive Barker’s Books of the Art (The Great and Secret Show and Everville). However at other times I would like to be Nathanial Poe/Hawkeye from The Last of the Mohicans. At other times I would like to be Matrim Cauthon from Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series. Also….

(Contagion’s limp body sits in a chair… Oddybobo realizes she put too much electricity through him and he may be dead. She lays down the sponges and slowly walks out of the room casually looking over her shoulder and taking off her rubber gloves)

(Contagions incorporeal soul)
I’m supposed to pas this in to how many people I want to. Well unless any of my readers really, really, really want to be subjected to this I don’t plan on passing this meme on. If for some masochistic reason you want me to ask you five questions, volunteer in the comments. I’ll warn you now, my questions may be a little… unusual.