Friday, April 01, 2005

Interrogation for VW, Machell and Alex.

When answering the interrogation meme that Oddybobo fried me with. I said I would not interview anyone unless they asked to be interviewed. Well I had three individuals that where disturbed enough to actually volunteer to let me, Contagion, to put them to the question, torture, ask them questions. I tried warning these volunteers that my questions are not going to be quite normal, so here we go.

First up is VW of One Happy Dog Speaks. (Blog Sis/neice)

1) Since you have two boys close in age, have you ever tied them together by the left hand, given them small clubs and let them fight over something such as your love and/or a cupcake? (If so will your champion be willing to take on Clone? He needs the practice so he can go for the TDMFA, Toddler Death Match Fighting Association, championship)

2) Your handle is VW, what is your infatuation with a German brand of vehicles, does it stem from an incident when you where 16 and on a date? If so details please.

3) We all know that dogs don’t speak, so thus you must be taking some kind of hallucinogenic drugs. (Plus you volunteered for this) What kind of drugs are you taking and are you now or have you ever been a hippy? (Answering yes to being a hippy may also explain question number two)

4) You routinely make a post every Wednesday called “Humor for the dreaded Wednesday.” What is so dreaded about Wednesday that you feel the need to ridicule it? Is it because most people don’t pronounce the N? Maybe you just feel that it’s a wasted day and we should only have a 6 day week.

5) We know that your blogs main purpose is to keep your family updated with the activities of Tater and Tot. Have you ever thought of starting a blog to showcase your true love, photo journalism? We all know the truth; look at all the pictures you post. Please, no one takes pictures of plants for any other reason!

Second to throw themselves on the sword was Machelle of Quality Weenie. (Blog aunt/sis)

1) You strike me as a hard working, intelligent person. We’ve established that VW is on psychotropic drugs, but why are you volunteering for this, are you a closet masochist? (If so call me)

2) We know you have some dark fetish for the automotive industry. You claim to work quality control in that industry. Why is it then that I keep having problems with the brakes on my van? What did you do them?!?!?! Don’t lie, I know it was you!

3) You keep telling people to buy Ford vehicles. Why are you fascinated with them when their cars suck so horribly? I had a 95 Ford Contour SE that was a complete heap o’ shite. It kept falling apart and having to have work done on it. Wait… was that you as well? I didn’t know you then! Why are you persecuting me?!?!?!

4) Regarding your Ford fetish. Let’s say a blog buddy was going to buy a new truck and they got a Chevy would you disown them, strike their blog from your blog roll and start a campaign to have the scourged from the internet? How about if it was a Toyota?

5) When I was in Michigan 2 weeks ago how come you didn’t offer to meet with my wife and myself? Is it because I’m buying bought a Chevy? Why do you hate me so?!?!

Finally we get to Alex of Alex in wonderland (My international Blog buddy).

1) Originally your wife, Sally if Whimsy Capricious, volunteered you for this and I rejected her offer at which point you then proceeded to volunteer yourself. Does she routinely volunteer you to do things that no normal person would do and if so do you normally do as she tells you?

2) We know you do all the work on Sally’s site (Template design, fixing the problems, putting that cool chat section), Heck I even suspect you do some of the more creative writing. Have you ever thought of telling her to suck it up and learn to do it herself? I mean c’mon you did tell me she only sits around watching the kid all day and surfing the net… what? I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about that… Oh sorry.

3) Why does most English cooking involve parts of the animals that other countries toss out or use for dog food? IE, kidneys, stomachs, hearts, blood...? (And what do they do to it to make it so darn delicious?)

4) You only have one child at this time (That Sally knows of), Have you ever thought of having a second (third?) So you can have them fight each other while you and your friends bet on the winner while drinking Scotch and smoking cigars?

5) Mail me a haggis. Nope no question, just do it. DAMN the laws man, MAIL ME A HAGGIS! Sigh, okay fine! If you had a chance to come to America for a Blog meet would you bring a haggis with you? (really good scotch is an acceptable alternative)

I tried to warn these nice people, but did they listen to me… NOOOooooo. They had to volunteer.

Here are the rules:

*Answer on your blog, and I will link to your answers.

*If you want to do this find some sucker that volunteers in the comments to YOUR answers. Get as many suckers as you like, or better yet kill this thing and don’t ask anyone. I don’t know of anyone else that hasn’t done this yet.

*You have to answer all the questions truthfully… If you lie, I’ll know and Oddybobo left her electro-torture device here I have no problem traveling to each of your places of residence just to torture you!

***All questions asked where in jest and in no way meant to be insulting or imply a moral deficit in character, except maybe Alex, He is English you know. I just can’t make that sound like a good thing. J/k You know I love you man, not in that gay sort of way but in that prison sort of way. :) ***