Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Was it worth it?

I didn’t mean to do it. It just happened. I was weak, the opportunity came along and I did something I never thought I would do. I cheated on my wife.

At least that is what she told me this morning, that I had cheated on her. Apparently, she had a really vivid dream involving my sexual adventures with another woman. At this point, I want to state for the records that I have never and will never cheat on my wife. For those of you that read the opening of this post and believed it, shame on you. I feel guilty even looking at another woman (not in a strip club). I mean I still look at a pretty woman walking down the street, but I feel guilty about it.

What I don’t get is that it was a dream; she knows and admits it was a dream, yet she was mad at ME for it! I’m sorry, but if I had that kind of control over other people’s dreams, I’d use it to my own evil devices. I would not use it to anger my wife! Is it my fault she had some kind if insecurities and dreamt about it? Should I be held responsible for actions that her subconscious dreamt up? I don’t think so, but then again *I* am the bad guy here.

I will say that my wife’s anger quickly diminished as the morning went on. It probably would have faded away much faster if I hadn’t been a little, okay very, insensitive about it. I had to ask, “Who did I cheat with?” *I* had to know whom my wife thought I was sticking it to in her mind. She told me she didn’t know who it was; she had never seen her before. I then asked, “Was she pretty?” Big mistake! My wife shot back with, “does it matter?!?!” The tone in which she answered the questions leads me to believe she knew who the woman is, and didn’t want to tell me. It might even be someone I know. At least she confirmed it was NOT a guy! Thank god, I think that would have me skeeved out for the rest of the week.

I just want to know which woman my wife thinks is desperate enough to have an affair with me of all people. I’m also curious as to what type of woman my wife thinks I find attractive. I have slightly unusual tastes and have some pretty meticulous standards. Most of the women other guys think of as “hot”, I think are okay. They’re pretty, just not my type.

I’m debating on whether or not I should buy my wife some jewelry now. That’s how I earn brownie points and get out of trouble. I don’t feel I did anything wrong that deserves an “I’m sorry” present. I mean inquiring on who the seductress was can be construed as a bad thing, but that’s a slap on the wrist transgression.
We’ll have to wait and see what happens.