Thursday, May 12, 2005

But it tasted good!

Have you ever eaten something and later thought to yourself, “hmmm, I probably shouldn’t have eaten that?” Well I did that today, and I’m paying for it now.

This morning Boopie is sick yet again. He had the urge to ‘gurge and let it flow. Now before you go giving him too much sympathy, he gets sick all the time. He has taught himself to cough until he tosses his cookies. Why would he do this? It is psychological, he’s a hypochondriac. He comes by it honestly via his biological father. Therefore, when something is going on that he doesn’t want to do or deal with, he starts getting sick. No fever, no drain of energy, just blowing chunks, that’s how we can tell when it’s a fake illness and not a real one.

So this morning my good, kind, loving and understanding wife is dealing with Boopie while I’m in the kitchen making lunch for her and I as well as my breakfast. I don’t eat breakfast at home; I pack one and take it to work. I don’t like eating before 7:00 AM and I’m generally arriving at work around 6:30 AM. While in the midst of this, Boopie comes in and starts coughing until a Technicolor yawn pours forth from his mouth into the trash can and kitchen floor. Now I’m trying not to hurl, as I can NOT stomach the smell of vomit, be it someone else’s or my own. Boopie finishes spewing and goes and starts cleaning up the bile-goodness on the floor. I went back to making my breakfast. Now before you start to get too squeamish, no… no, I did not do what you are thinking. I did not eat anything with stomach chunkin’ in it.

So I get to work, start my daily routine. Run reports check out data from yesterday, etc, etc, etc. I start to eat my breakfast. I remember thinking, god this is good. I love Roast Beef with Blue Cheese. In fact, Anathematized and I had just been talking about steaks smothered in blue cheese last night.

I’m about to the end of my breakfast, last bite to be exact, when a thought crossed my mind. I made this meal, and I haven’t bought blue cheese in over 4 months. In fact, I haven’t bought dry blue cheese in over a year; I’ve only been getting it as salad dressing. I stop from taking the last bite. The delicious, yet now mysterious, taste of blue cheese is still in my mouth as I start to examine my breakfast.

I think to myself, “I have provolone, mozzarella, pepper jack, Monterey jack, Colby and Kraft slices at home. Why do I taste blue cheese?” I start poking around and I find this object. It’s white with black fuzzy spots and blue veins. I sniff it… a light goes on in my head. It’s a piece of provolone. MY PROVOLONE HAS GONE BAD AND I HAD EATEN MOSTLY TWO SLICES OF IT!

Now I’ve eaten many different foods, some exotic some just unusual. I’ve even eaten moldy food before. I know it won’t hurt me, but that doesn’t stop my brain from wondering if the extra penicillin will clear up that rash. I’m also still burping up the taste of blue cheese and roast beef, which is making me hungry. Maybe I’ll have to take my wife to Lone Star on lunch so I can get a Blue Cheese smothered steak.

Now when I get home tonight I have to decide if I’m going to throw out the provolone or use it in tomorrows breakfast… it did taste good.