Random Thoughts

Have you ever just been sitting around doing something, when all of a sudden a door opens up in your head and you realize you are not the person you thought you where going to be? (Yes, that is one long run on sentence; no I’m not changing it because that’s how I talk). Well that just happened to me. I just finished working on a project, stopped to take a drink of water and wham. I realized I am not who I thought I would be.

When I was younger I thought I would be the eternal bachelor. I never thought I would marry, let alone have kids. I always pictured myself as single. I don’t know who was more surprised when I got married; my parents, my sister, my friends or me. Yet today I have a wife that makes me smile by just being in the same room as me. I also have two boys that simultaneously drive me crazy and bring me so much joy. I can’t imagine life with out my wife and kids.

I thought I was going to be either a Chief of Police for some medium to small town or a Sheriff of some rural county. A position high up in the chain of command of a department at least. I actually started working in my field of choice and I loved it, but not more then my family. Right now I sit here at my desk, in a managerial position with a fortune 500 company. This is not what I wanted to do. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t dislike my job, it offers me the freedom and opportunity to do many things that I would never be able to do in Law Enforcement.

I thought I would be living in either upper Wisconsin or possibly the upper peninsula of Michigan. After this last weekend I want to live in western Michigan. I always liked it cold, I never liked warm weather. I can’t imagine living in the south. In the summer it still gets a little too warm for me here. Here I am at 31 (yes I’m 31 years old. Shut up, it’s not that old) and I can not move due to various legal and custodial reasons. If I could move, my wife wants to go where it is warmer.

I never thought I would be doing historical re-enactments. I didn’t even know the kind of living history I do even existed. I knew of Civil War, but not the period I do. My life revolves around my family and re-enacting. I never had any artistic ability. I was never good at music, singing, sculpting, carving, painting, etc. I also was never very good at crafts. Today on lunch I picked up the rest of the tools I need to Carve/burn two Celtic Knotwork Crescent moons into my wives new kitchen box, make a possibles bag and to make my own powder horn by hand. I think my grade school art teacher rolled over in her grave when I typed that.

Up until last December I told myself I was never going to have a blog. I had no desire for one. I didn’t want to have to worry about what to write and to make daily posts. I was worried that people would read what I put down and just hate it. Then, last December, I started this blog. I’ve been enjoying it. It’s a nice outlet for my mental energies. I sit here now writing and not caring if anyone actually reads it, or if they actually like what I wrote.

I am not the man that I thought I was going to be, but I am the man that I need to be.

I like my life, the only thing I would like to change is doing more re-enactments. However I already do 85% of the local ones and the other 15% fall on the same weekend as ones I currently do.

There’s no point to this post, it was just a random thought I wanted to put down.