If I could be... THE MEME!

Sissy of And What Next nailed me with the Meme that Ogre made. I don’t know what I did to her that deserved this, but one day I’ll get even! She says it’s because I suggested she started re-enacting. What is so bad about that? Do you have any idea what the market value for a single female that re-enacts is on the circuit? She’d have the pick of the guys to go after. I can’t count how many re-enactors want to find a single female that re-enacts! Hell I have guys taking dibs on my wife when I die. (Yes, I have people watching my back so I am not offed)

Well, anyway, here are the meme rules

Immediately following there is a list of 24 different occupations. You must select at least five of them (feel free to select more). You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select 5 of the items as it was passed to you). Each one begins with "If I could be..." Of the 5 you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession.

For example, if the selected occupation was "pirate" you might take the phrase "If I could be a pirate..." and add to it "I would sail the 7 Seas, dating lasses from around the world.

See how easy that is? Here's the list:

If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be an astronaut...
If I were a dog...
If I were an inventor...
If I were a programmer...
If I were a genius...

If I were a lawyer, I’d be a defense attorney and do my best to get every single one of my clients off based on a technicality. I like my rights and I don’t want mine infringed just so we can put some one who may be guilty away. If the police can’t do their jobs properly with in constricts of the law, then they need to start learning how to do so.

If I were a doctor, I’d become a plastic surgeon just so I can exploit peoples narcissistic attitudes for my own greed and prosperity. They are going to do it anyway; I might as well take some of the pie.

If I were a psychologist, I’d be disbarred very quickly because I’d probably talk a bunch of people into offing themselves. Most of the wack jobs that see them are too full of themselves and only need a swift kick in the ass to see the light. Boo hoo I’m depressed… get over it. My life is not what I wanted either, but I’m making the best out of it. If you’re that bad, get a gun and rid the world of excess population already. Quit putting money into these hacks pockets.

If I was a professor, I’d be a history professor and I’d teach my classes in First Person representation. I had a history professor in college that did that during the Civil War segment and it was really neat. Everyone that had this class thought the guy was a little off his rocker, but the class was really fun.

If I could be a bonnie-Pirate, I’d be Seamus MacPhail, exiled Scot and scourge of the America’s. My ship, The Bonnie Flora, would be manned with an amalgamation of Celts, The finest of Jacobites, and maybe a token Irishman or two. We’d lay waste to all ships under the British flag. The American Colonies would feel the sting of my blade as I started amassing ships to me in a fleet that will draw the British Navy down upon us. I would force the French Government to assist in my endeavor by threatening their ships, for they still owe us Jacobites 9,000 troops! In exchange, I’ll help them win their fight with the Brits in the New World. We’d make…. Huh… what? Too in depth? Okay… sorry.

The rules don’t say I have to pass this on, so I won’t and I’m not going to do it.