6 years down on a life sentence.

Today is a day of great joy, or sorrow depending on how you view it, for it is the 6th anniversary of Harvey of Bad Example and his Beloved Wife, TNT of Smiling Dynamite. In light of this occasion I thought I would give a brief cliff notes farce history of their courtship and what led to their marriage.

This tale of lust love started way back, a long time ago. But we'’ll skip ancient history and just get to the good stuff. First you must know that TNT loves seamen and their vessels. (That’s sailors and their ships, not Mr. Happy and his man juice, god this family has issues!) She would go down to the Great Lakes Naval Training Academy to view eye candy as they would come and go (From the base! People please!). Unfortunately for her, Harvey was in the Navy or village people, we aren’t exactly sure.

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Harvey, upon seeing this brown haired beauty decided he must have her. TNT, being of sound mind (and definitely body, oh yeah!), put up her defenses. She fought tooth and nail, buck and ball, sword and saber, okay she just hammered him with artillery.

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This was not enough to deter Harvey, No he persisted and spent all of his waking hours plotting and planning on how he could get her. This worked to no avail. She did not want Mr. Bad Example knocking on her door. She knew he was up to unsavory activities.

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TNT was at her wits end at what to do with this stalker suitor, so she left and joined the circus. She did a topless trapeze act for the delight of the audience.

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She felt that with the constant traveling Harvey would never be able to find her. She was wrong. Harvey took a job with a financial institution in order to track TNT using her financial records and SSN. Upon locating which circus she had joined, he tried to convince her to marry him. It didn’t seem to work. So as a last resort Harvey hired a couple of thugs (whom threatened to break both of my legs if I identified them) to “convince” TNT to marry him. So they twisted her arm, literally. I have photographic evidence!

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Now, 6 year later and with Harvey slipping TNT sedatives, they are still together. So go congratulate Harvey on trapping marrying someone way above his station. Don’t forget to apologize congratulate TNT for her patience, loss of mental stability, ability to put up with his crap, happiness at settling for marrying Harvey.

In all seriousness, congratulations to the both of you on your anniversary. May you still have at least another 50 years of wedded bliss.

BTW they were married exactly 6 months to the day before my wife and I.